My wish for myself and for the women I support this year, is this:
The space and capacity to make choices and decisions for yourself
We all make choices, consciously or not. We can even make the choice to make no choice at all. Without consciousness, we might perpetually sit on the fence. This is like an exercise routine that never begins, but it's all written out in detail on paper. On the flip side, with consciousness, we might give an internal conflict time and space to breathe a bit before leaning toward a decision.
I love this passage from Jean Shinoda Bolen's book, "Goddesses in Every Woman," which I may have quoted before, regarding choices:
"There are crucial forks in every road, where a decision must be made. What path to take? Which direction to follow? To
continue on a course with one's principles, or to go along with others? To be honest, or cheat? To go to college, or work? To have the baby, or an abortion? To leave a relationship, or to stay? To marry, or say no to a particular man? To go off immediately for medical help on discovering a lump in your breast, or put it off? To have an affair and risk the marriage? To give up or persevere? Which choice? Which path? What cost?"
What makes a woman a heroine, according to Bolen, is that a woman makes her own choice and own decision. I would add, that she accepts the consequence in doing so.
Bolen does a lovely and impressive job of differentiating the psychological tasks of women gripped by different archetypal forms of the Feminine in Greek Mythology.
For example, becoming a conscious-choice-maker can be a huge act of power for compliant Persephone types, or for women that have put their men first, like Hera, or for women that have looked out for others' needs before their own, like Demeter.
On the flip side, Bolen writes, "there are "more psychologically 'armored' women like Athena, as independent of men's opinions as Artemis, or as self-sufficient and solitary as Hestia. Their heroic tasks are to risk intimacy or become vulnerable emotionally. For them, the choice that requires courage is to trust someone else, or to need someone else, or be responsible for someone else. Speaking up and taking risks may be easy for such women. For them, marriage and motherhood require courage."
As you can see, every woman may have a different growth path as she matures.
We each have certain tasks and growth paths that are ours to take. Recognizing this, in my opinion, can stop social comparison in ints tracks. Though we may grapple with similar themes, we each have our own path.
When faced with a difficult decision, Jungian psychologist and author, James Hollis has suggested to choose the path that enlarges you, not diminishes you.
He says nothing about it being easy.
How's that for some good fodder for sessions? :)
Alright! That's it for now. Wishing you a bright and illuminating year ahead that is personally meaningful.
With love & respect,
Laura
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