One of my clients shared a success story she experienced in between our sessions and it went something like this:
I ate half a burger and some sweet potato fries for dinner while out with my husband and friends, got in the car, drove home, and then took the dog for a walk.
Yes, that's the story.
Why would we consider such a seemingly insignificant event a success?
This lovely woman I was working with used to report feeling massive levels of anxiety when eating out socially. She felt like dining out would never help her reach her eating or body weight goals so she'd order the most "indulgent" thing on the menu and then finish all of it, feel "gross" and overly full, then would go home, sit on the couch and eat ice cream (contributing to her feeling even worse).
I'm sure you can see why her casual story above was a real victory. She said she felt like a "regular" eater, who could order what she wanted, stop when she was satisfied, and get on with her evening in an enjoyable way.
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Certain kinds of "success" with eating are more difficult to measure because they vary from woman to woman.
For example, it's much easier to measure whether a person successfully eats 60-80g of protein each day.
There's much more nuance, however, in measuring improvements in a woman's relationship with food.
Why?
Because healing and empowerment look different given each woman's history and patterns in her life. One woman might be healing as she learns how to relax around diet more and experiences more flexibility and adaptability. Another woman might be healing as she learns how to set her eyes on a reasonable target goal with her diet and follows through with action.
This is why healing our relationship with food and enjoying a beautiful diet is a deeply personal process, imbued with unique meaning and milestones along the way.
Today I'm sharing all sorts of successes I celebrate with my eating psychology clients in our work together. See which align with you most here:
They can easily pass on foods they used to feel powerless around
They no longer obsess/panic when they eat something that was previously “off limits”
They no longer binge eat when they eat something that was previously “off limits”
Their body weight stabilizes without extreme methods of control
Doing things for themselves that felt burdensome in the past, like making breakfast, regular grocery runs, or taking some time to prepare something for themselves happens more easily
They face their lives and relationships more head-on, instead of hiding out in diet and body weight fixations
Their perfectionism has softened greatly; they feel more human
They more naturally choose nutrient dense foods because they have a positive, subjective experience eating those foods
They experience improved self-regulation when stressed or triggered (self-soothing, self-attunement, as well as reaching out to others for connection)
They notice what ways of eating, types of food, and amounts of food their body feels well and very frequently choose to feel well
They eat a meal or favorite food and then mentally and emotionally move on with the day to focus on other things
They have a simple and kind plan to “course correct” when they feel unwell after eating a type food or amount that didn’t sit right with them
They begin to say “no” to certain foods based on how that food makes them feel or a personal value that's important to them
They feel more sane and wise around weight regulation and body image
They value how they feel
They feel more in touch with and expressive of their true nature
Examples may vary. The gist is that women begin to feel more empowered and free to make conscious choices for themselves and often make very life-affirming choices. This includes the freedom to choose what one eats and does not eat, the freedom to exercise one's own will and discipline, as well as the freedom to practice acceptance and self-compassion.
~ Laura
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